first time

In the Bakery everything is different, it’s not like you work in an office it’s like you are working in a big kitchen in your house.

My first day in the bakery was nice. I made 14 apple strudel. My boss taught me how to make it. I was so slowly and I still slowly.

When I saw that we baked 2 of them I was happy that day I was jumping inside, smiling like a kid. I remembered my Uncle the one he live far away when I told him how much I love to cook I was telling him about my own recipe. In that time everything was hard I was so sad, everyone around me thought I still sad because of my mum death when I moved on long time. I did I accepted her death cause it’s fact everyone will die one day.

I was sad because of the fights with my other uncle he made me cry a lot when he calls me INFEDIL front of my Best friend and I. he hurt me a lot especially when he threat to kill me. I didn’t understand what happened why did he do something like that? What I did? I am not the only girl in the family having Facebook or Mobile or friends.

Poor uncle he thought all the friends I had on my facebook they are really my friends when they are not I only have one Basma.

She was there for me. I am pretty sure everyone now want to know what happened with my uncle and I. wish if I can tell it’s hard to tell. It’s still hurting me and makes me cry.

I remember that when I was in my first day in the bakery… the first thing I cook before OMG. I was 13 and my mum in that time just got out of the hospital I didn’t see her for 2 years in that time, she got a virus attacked her brain, so went in coma for year and she was paralyzed after the coma for other one year. In that time I thought she left me again so I stop asking where is mumy, I stop missing her, I stop waiting her coming back. I didn’t  understand where she is or what happened to her until she come's back. I was bitch I treated her very bad because I was mad I was mad because very one treated me like a baby like I will not understand that I am losing my mum when I am just a kid. 

in that time I want to make something I love she used to make it for me I didn't want her to show me how to make it I want her to tell me how can I make it and I will make it... I didn't want her in the kitchen. so she was in the shower when I start calling her " mum ... mum ... how can I make pasta soup ? " Noodle soup " ... she said " when I will get out I will show you" I was holding 2 bags of noodle's " No stay there ... tell me how to make it " she said " waiting me " ... I CAN"T I DON"T HAVE ANY PATIENCE. 

after 5 minutes I was away from pot for 5 minutes only five MINUTES and everything turn black ... I burned everything the pan and the noodle's. I was so sad ... so scared ... so where I should disappear from the place of crime. I was running out the door and I come back 2 hours later. she was screaming for 2 hours because of the smell. 

in the end I learned how to make it after lectures about patience when you cook. 

the noodle soup easy to make and in that time I start make it everyday and one day I looked to the mirror and I realize that I am fat. I had bad time with that. my mum the most nice person ever in this earth, though sometime she be mean sometime's like in that day she want to bay for this dress it was size 2 when my size in that time 10 and she start crying asking God why she has a FAT kid. in that time I hated myself and I start wounder why she take me for dinner " eating out" then let me running or fast walking for 30 minutes ... from the begging don't take give me FAST FOOD and Pepsi. 

so when I want to lose some wight ... I start added some vegetables... 

how to make this soup .... easy ... Noodle + hot water + any vegetables you like. 

P.S. fry the noodle in oil or butter first.

so my first day in the bakery was lovely and nice... when I want home everyone was asking why did I do that? why a high educated girl like me working like a baker everyone was telling me his or her wishing for me to find another good job... but I don't want another job I am glad to have this ... I am glad to finally after one year looking for a job I got one

I was happy and un happy ... happy to work and un happy because it's not in media like I used to work in before. the people around me make me feel bad and sorry but they didn't could make me feel shamed from my work I was and I still proud to be a baker in our bakery.

I was going early like 1 or 2 hours sometime's before my shift started cause I love it I felt blessed to work there and to do something similar to cook... BAKE.

one day my boos asked me .. oh yeah I have 2 boss's so Ali my boss asked me if I need arrived and he was so nice ... kind ... he start talking to me about the business and we are a big family and it's true we are one family.

I was gradful for our conversation. 

today the bakery it's different now we have a mini Cafe, I got crazy with it... my day made when someone asking me for a coffee now I know how to make Latte, espresso, american, cappuccino and vienna coffee. I made it today wow I was feeling like I am dancing with the stars. 

every Friday my sweet Daniela coming to visit me in the bakery having coffee + sandwich+ something sweet... something I make like my cinnamon rolls. Daniela couldn't coming today, she was going to Palestine, they didn't late her go in ... she called me asking what she should do?? 

she backed to Amman safe. 

the best part on my day when a customer smile on my face telling me " thank you ... to open today " or " thank you ... to make this ".

or when a customer telling me " I was thinking about you ... you looked tired last time are you okay now? " 

that's make's me feel I am at home.